I posted this on my new My Space. If you fancy a look, or to Friend, it's http://www.myspace.com/chiyusoul
Last week my mother died.
Then she came back.
She's been in hospice for a week, now transfered to a Rehabilitation Center to gain her strength back.
I was with her the night she died.
They called me to tell me the time was close, and I called everyone to let them know and we spent the night at the hospital. It was myself, and my mother's brother and sister.
As you might know we have serveal planets retrograde adding to the feelings of heaviness and confussion. Things feel darker right now. No question. However that night it was diffrent. I could feel that we had loved one's around us, but through my ties to my mother I could feel empathically some of what was taking place for her. I didn't get to go in and visually witness, nor would I have wanted to. Feeling it was enough. She got lost.
It was truly a horrific night. I could feel her struggle. I knew she wasn't dead. Looking at her though, she seemed to be. How a voice could come out of such a still pale body, I have no idea. I flet love from the other side, but eventually I couldn't feel it anymore... it was just confusion, darkness and pain. It felt like I was being sucked through the center of the universe, or what a black hole must feel like. It was so cold and empty. This is not what I expected of death. And not what I personally expect for death... at least I hope not. I knew though what my mother was facing wasn't good, and I laid there in tears, confused as to what was going on and why. Why wasn't she finding my Grandparents and sisters... where had she taken herself? And what could I personally do about it?
My Grandmother after her death could be tracked to the void, an empty place, and later placed herself in Hell, or so I've been told. This came up during two Reiki sessions with my former mentor, Betty. I know Betty can be an amazing psychic. I also know that sometimes I never knew if I believed what she was telling me... some of it seemed a little far fetched and like it was adults playing pretend. Betty did say she energetically piggy backed me and led my Grandfather to my Grandmother, and we were able to get her out. I'm not sure what happened, but I do know that from my own studies that people can send themselves several places in the other spheres of reality. The old joke about religions having diffrent heavens is true... they do. Each created as thin lines between the dimensions, by the combined energies and throughts of the followers living and dead of a religious group.
When my mother was awake enough to talk to me, I asked her about what happened and what I had experienced. She told me what I described was exactly what she was going through. My Mother says where she went was a chalk cave... That there were figures, there, ledges. Strage how when she said it I could see it so clear. She said my Grandmother was there at one point. And was trying to console her. She said she told her mother that she didn't like this, and didn't want to be there. Grandma tried told her something along the lines of "I know, sweetheart. But you're here now." She said I showed up at one point, and I'm sure my astral form was with her, and why I was feeling it in my physical body. She also mentioned someone else, and actor I don't know, and I figure that may have been an interritation she made of someone or something she couldn't understand... She wouldn't talk much about the experience. It frightened her. All she say is she doesn't want to do it again. Frustration thing is tht as I tried to talk to her and explain she didn't have to her sister came in, and shut the conversation down. Susan is eight years older than my mother... and frankly is afraid of death herself... everytime I've mentioned what I experienced, she asked me in a rather sarcastic tone "What does it matter?" It matters because what my mom went through was a choice... and she can choose diffrently.
I talked with Pam Michaels on Sun. This is was before I could talk in any degree with my Mom. She said a lot of what I empathically picked up was what the Tibetian Book of the Dead describes. She also said what my mother was going through was karmic and there wasn't much I could really do. I still think it's worth a try. My mother is the most open minded of my Grandmother's children, in part becasue she has me as a daughter and we would always talk about things I was studying, etc.
The other thing that Pam let slip, which I already knew, was that the void my mother went through (that feeling), the space in death between the worlds.... is something the planet has to pass through in it's ascension. Frankly I think we're all getting a taste of it now with the retrograde. When she said it she looked at me to see how I would take it, then said "Perhaps it won't be in our life time." However, I think it will be. After all 2012 is when the Earth lines up with the Galaxy Center. They talk about the Mayan's and how thier game they played was a story in fact, people trying to get a ball through a ring, and the winners beheaded. The ring is the center of the universe, the ball is the earth, and death... is death. It's also nessisary for rebirth. I think the planet will walk through that energetic plane or dimension, just as I did the other night. It's something you can do without physically dying. However it's also important when it comes to waking up, to ressurection. For me, going there has done that in some degree. I won't ever look at the world the same way again. And it made me realize how important our healing is... in part becasue life, even after death is a journey. How we live will play into that journey, and the wounds we carry play out on the other side as well, and can do so in a frightening way, since there thought is reality even more that we experience that here. The density of the dimensiuons is less, so it's easier to create and happens much faster. Why whole "Heavens" can be formed by a mass conciousness.
I can say the last few weeks has been interesting. It's also been a call to stand in my power and get back on my path. There's a lot more I want to say about this, but due to time constraints, I can't. It will have to wait till later.